The fact remains that no matter how old or how young the children are when a divorce occur in a family, they are grossly affected. The development of children are most time triggered by the activities of their parents and how well the family is in accord.
Now to a family that just shattered, the children may experience a lot of things such as withdrawnness, losing of concentration in school and at home, development of fear, dullness and so on. Simply going through the process can result in a variety of changes, ranging from quieter meals to an empty house or even a new home. If you have kids, your co-parenting schedule may require you to go days without seeing them for the first time.
As you begin to adjust to the altered shape of your life, you might experience a complex blend of thoughts and feelings ranging from betrayal and loss to anger, or even relief.
To put it simply, divorce can throw your life into upheaval. As you begin to reestablish yourself, it can help to keep in mind that divorce doesn’t mean your life has ended. Rather, it heralds a fresh start. Taking care of your mental and physical needs is critical to successfully navigating the post-divorce phase.
This post is solely written to address how to cater for the children after divorce.
1. Practice acceptance
People rarely marry with the expectation of eventually divorcing. Despite the fact that divorce is common, you may be confident that your marriage will last. As a result, the divorce of your marriage may come as a surprise.
It’s natural to have regrets, wish things had gone differently, and question whether there was anything you could have done to prevent it. You may also experience some perplexity, even denial, and find it difficult to accept the divorce.
Regardless of these (totally understandable) emotions, the truth remains that the marriage is over. While some ex-partners do remarry, divorce is usually the end of the relationship. Holding on to the past or the future you imagined too firmly might obstruct your recovery and make it tough to move forward.
As a result, when you catch your thoughts straying down the route of:
“If only I’d…”
“However, we worked so well together.”
“How could they throw it all away?” says the narrator.
Instead, try reminding yourself of the following:
“The divorce took place, and there’s nothing that can be done about it.”
“Life may not turn out the way I had hoped, but I can still be pleased and at peace.”
Acceptance rarely happens overnight, so don’t be discouraged if you need some time. The most important thing is to be nice to yourself as you come to terms with your loss.
2. Carry the children along
One mistake those who just divorced make is trying to hide the situation from their children thinking they are still young. It’s quite important to care so much about the children’s emotion and mental state but trying to keep the situation from them will cause a future problem. The earlier the children knows what is happening, the earlier they get adapted to the new situations.
Communicate to them in their best way and let them know what is happening.
3. Don’t transfer aggression to them
Initially, the children are passing through a lot, you shouldn’t add to the situation by transferring aggression to them. This will make them withdrawn and silent which will result to a disastrous decision.
Also Check Out: Marriage: 5 Important Issues to Discuss Before I Do
4. Give room for co-parenting
Due to the anger you may have towards your ex, don’t make the mistake of rejecting any help rendered towards the children by your ex. You may think you can do it alone but you can’t.
Conclusion
Deciding to divorce your partner especially knowing what a destabilizing effect it will have on your children is probably the most difficult choice you’ve ever considered. No doubt you spent many months deliberating, trying to come up with an alternative solution.
During that time, you likely fought for your marriage and your family with everything you had but since it didn’t work out, you will have to move on and take care of your children.
