THE 5 IMPORTANT STAGES BEFORE STARTING A RELATIONSHIP

My past relationship has taught me that, there are stages I ought to have passed through before embarking on the relationship journey. That is why I will be sharing with you all the 5 important stages before starting a relationship.

STAGE ONE: THE RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD

The foundation of every relationship should be centered on the Supreme Being. For you to have a good and long lasting relationship, you will have to begin with having a strong relationship with God. Knowing him. Learning his ways and abiding by his law. Starting a relationship, you need to know who God is first; know about him through prayers and reading the scripture. Understanding how he works and communicates with you is very important because, it will help you in understanding who you are and who the person you are about dating or going into a relationship with is.

It is by knowing God through his scripture that you will know the meaning of love and how a perfect relationship should be. Knowing God will make you know love because he is love himself. He gave up his life just so that we can live even while we were still sinners. Is there any type of love that is more than the one he showed us on the Cross of Calvary? Absolutely No!

So, for you to have a long lasting relationship, you must first know God and know what he says about love and relationship, by first starting a relationship with him.

STAGE TWO: THE RELATIONSHIP WITH ONESELF

Most times we tend to be looking for the right person instead of being the right person. This ideology has damaged a lot of relationship and has damaged a lot of people’s lives as well. How? You may ask. It has damaged a lot of people’s lives because so many people has a specific person they want to be in a relationship with, “the perfect person”. With that expectation, you will find out that when they go into a relationship with someone that doesn’t have quarter of their characteristics, they tend to separate or get divorced; for people who are already married. Without changing their mindset, they keep on going into another relationship and failing, thereby damaging their lives with too many heart breaks.

Being in a relationship with oneself will help you know who you are, what your strengths and weaknesses are, what your love language is and how to treat yourself right. If you don’t know how to treat yourself right and if you don’t understand yourself, it will be very difficult for someone else to understand you. Seek to be the right person instead of looking for the right person. Because a certain quote says “you attract what you are”.

Which means, if you are the right person, you will definitely attract the right person to yourself. So I urge you to strive to be the right person, have all the qualities you want from your partner and see that you will not only have a good and perfect relationship of your dream but a long lasting one too.

STAGE THREE: THE RELATIONSHIP WITH FAMILY

Family is the first set of people you have had encounters with and these are the third people you should be in a relationship with. If you are able to be in a relationship with people you have known since childbirth, then you wouldn’t find understanding and learning your partner difficult. Because in every family, there are different characters and you definitely have to deal with them all.

Understanding your family members and being in a relationship with them, will go a long way in helping you to start a relationship that will last. How you treat your family members matters a lot. I have heard some of my friends disagree with the saying “The way they treat their family is the same way they will treat you too”. But this is obviously true.

You don’t expect someone who doesn’t speak to his/her mother in a year to suddenly change. The same way he/she hasn’t spoken to his or her mother in a year, is the same way he or she won’t speak to you for a year when you finally settle down with him or her. They might be calling you at the beginning of the relationship or when it’s still new and fresh but will that person change into not calling, yes! He or she will.

Understanding your family and being in a relationship with them, will help you go really far in your relationship with your partner.

STAGE FOUR: THE RELATIONSHIP WITH FRIENDS

Do you know people who from friends they became lovers and then got married? I know. It is said that “a marriage that began from friendship is usually the best marriage”. That is where “Marry your friend” phrase was coined out from.

This stage is self-explanatory. It is from your relationships with your friends that you will truly know if you can actually handle a real or intimate relationship.

Your friends are people you meet in your life journey and have been moving in the same train ever since with. They are those people with different characters that you have to learn to deal with; albeit not all. When you successfully have a good relationship with your friends (male and female friends), understand them, learn how to associate and tolerate them, then you can be sure that having a good relationship with your partner won’t be difficult anymore.

STAGE FIVE: THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR PARTNER

This is the final stage before starting a relationship. When you have had a good relationship with God, Yourself, family, friends, you will discover that you have finally learnt a lot and can now be able to handle a relationship.

Because you know yourself, you wouldn’t place your hope and dreams on your partner. Because you know and understand yourself well enough, you will know how you are supposed to be treated.

Because you have being in a relationship with God and understand his ways and his own definition of love and relationship, you will be able to imitate him in your actions.

This is the stage where you can finally say ‘Yes, I have accepted to be in a perfect and long lasting relationship with you’ because I have successfully passed through all the stages and I have learnt a lot. So, yes I can now start a relationship with you.

CONCLUSION

These are the stages my past relationship  taught me to pass through before embarking on the relationship journey.

I hope the above 5 stages will help you in having a good and long lasting relationship.

I’m glad you read till the end and I want to say thank you and I want you to know that I wish you a perfect and long lasting relationship.

Let me know the stage or stages you related with and also if you have already passed through these stages and what the outcome is. If you will pass through this stages too, I would love to hear about them all in the comment section.

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