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3 keys to unlocking a successful relationship

Having a healthy relationship will bring you peace of mind, happiness and long life. Just as little things can lead to a break up, so also can little things lead to a lasting relationship. It’s never too late to start loving better, once you know and accept that there is a problem then solution is assured. Healthy relationships aren’t born, they’re developed through attention and effort, that is why you need to know the 3 keys to unlocking a successful relationship.

The dictionary defined Relationship as the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. For you to be in a relationship you need to be connected with the second party or your partner. There has to be a connection between the two of you.

Let’s leap into the 3 keys to unlocking a successful relationship.

 Key 1: Commitment

Commitment is the first key to a successful relationship. Once you have made up your mind to be with the one you love, you will be willing to go extra mile to make sure the relationship works because you have decided that you will be with this person both in fair-weather and when storm blow in, you will always stick with this person. It is when you are committed in a relationship that you will be willing to change your ways and make sacrifices for  your partner.

For any relationship to last, the two partners or lovers must decide and be willing to commit to each other. Commitment is very essential for a long lasting relationship. Commitment in a relationship means keeping the promises you made to your partner even when its difficult or you don’t feel like it. If you have made up your mind to commit to someone, to be there and show up in their life, you need to take that seriously.

Key 2: Knowing your partners love language

Love language is the way we show love, feel love, receive and interpret love. Firstly, knowing what your own love language is, is the starting point to a lasting relationship and then learning how your partner receives love will help you know the best way to demonstrate your love and care. There are five love languages developed by Dr. Gray Chapman, an author and counselor. According to him, “love language is one of the simplest ways to improve your relationship”. If you are wondering what your love language is, try taking Dr. Chapman’s 30-question quiz to see which love language is your dominant type. Click here to take the quiz

The five primary love languages

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION

People who speak this love language loves being appreciated and spoken nice words to. They like their partner expressing affection through compliment, praise or appreciation. Sometimes the shortest and simplest praises can be the most effective. People who speak this primary love language loves to be sent text messages, love notes, kind words and words of encouragement.

“I love you”.

“Your dress looks really nice on you”.

“You are the most handsome man I know”.

Constantly reminding them how you love them and how beautiful or handsome they are, can make a world of difference if your partner has this, as their primary love language. Also having an open line of communication with them can go a long way in sustaining the relationship. When this is your partners love language, avoid hostile, insulting and hurtful comments, because it affects them badly.

  • QUALITY TIME

People with this love language loves undivided attention. They are mostly looking for quality over quantity. They feel loved if you are present and focused on them, giving them your whole attention. When your partner speaks this love language, avoid watching television, pressing your cellphone, tablets or laptop, avoid every distractions when you are with them, it not only breaks their heart but it makes them feel unloved.  Avoid canceling date, postponing time together as this can be very hurtful to them and can make them feel you don’t love them and you care more about other activities or things than you care for them.

Make sure you always spend time with them, give them your full attention especially when you are together (doesn’t mean your 24 hours though).

  • PHYSICAL TOUCH

The physical touch love language is more about intimacy. People that speaks this love language loves physically being with their partner and not emotional. They love their partner holding their hands, kissing them, cuddling them and massaging them. They tend to feel unloved without physical touch. When you are with them, ensure steady body contact.

  • ACTS OF SERVICE

If act of service is your partners primary love language, you must be willing to focus on specific actions like washing dishes, doing the laundry, cooking etc. Doing them out of positivity and not purely out of obligation will make them consider it as an expression of love. Willingly helping them out can go a long way in sustaining that love and making them feel loved.

  • RECEIVING GIFTS

The receiving gifts love language isn’t necessarily materialistic. It doesn’t matter if the gift is expensive or cheap, it’s the time and effort, the intention or motive behind those gifts matters a lot, and will make them feel loved. Gift-giving is symbolic of love and affection in their mind. Something as simple as picking up their favorite chocolate after a long work can make a huge impact. Remember, the gift mustn’t be expensive. And do not use hostile words when giving or presenting the gifts to them.

Key 3: Communication

Lack of communication in a relationship has resulted to many divorces and break ups because communication to a relationship is like oxygen to life without it, it dies. I haven’t seen any relationship that is successful without proper communication. Not a one-sided communication but communication that involves the two parties.

Communication is important in any relationship, as it allows you to effectively share feelings, opinions and expectations. At some point in every  relationship, each partner may perceive situations differently, which can create resentment and other hurt feelings. But with a healthy and strong communication existing in the relationship, each partner will be able to share opinions of same situation. Communicating and listening to your partner makes the relationship to last long and be strong.

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