DON’T SHUT PEOPLE OUT

Dear Ella, my story is a very sad one and I regret that day till today. If only I knew what was about to happen, I would have picked her call that day and she would have still being alive now. Before I tell my story please Don’t shut people out. Learn to avoid this.

I’m from a family of six. My dad and mum, my elder brother, younger brother, younger sister and I. I am the second son and the closest to my sister; the only daughter. From childhood my elder brother had always set this standard that made it very uncomfortable to relate freely with him, maybe that was the reason my other siblings got closer to me.

We had all grown up and was living fine. I travelled out of the country in search of greener pasture but still kept in touch with them. We would always chat, voice call and also video call each other frequently. My elder brother was the only senior at home with my parents. My sister never shared anything about relationship with him but always does with me. When my brother discovered that she was in a relationship with a guy, he shouted and slapped her that day, saying all sorts of bad words to her like “ if you ever get pregnant I will kill you”.

This made her become more scared of him. She was 23 years old then. He wanted her to concentrate on her studies and not on any man. This made her to start keeping her relationship very secret; more secret than it was before. She started shutting us all out in the happenings of her life. I knew something was wrong but didn’t know how and where the problem was from and I was very far away from her, which made it very difficult to investigate and find out myself.

My sister continued with the relationship until she became pregnant. The man was willing to marry her but because of the fear of what my elder brother and parents will do to her, she refused him. She confided in her friend who advised her to abort the child.

A day before the abortion, she called me on my phone three times but I missed all her calls. When I saw the calls, I said I was going to return it not immediately though even though I had the time. I decided I will return the call when I am back from church.

But while I was still inside the church, a call came in and I went out to pick it because it was my mother that was calling me. I picked the call with the intention of telling her that I was in a church and would call back as soon as I am done. But she said “Your sister is dead”. That was the biggest shock of my life. Tears started dripping down my eyes. She hanged the call. I couldn’t concentrate again. But I tried to stay till the end of service.

When I got home, I cried myself to sleep. I kept opening my phone and staring at her missed calls. I wondered what she wanted to tell me.

Few days later, my mother called me back and while we were discussing she said “do you know what killed your sister?” I said no. And she said “your sister killed herself, she went to have an abortion but died in the process”. I cried more, after discovering the cause of her death. I blamed myself more for her death. If only I had picked up her calls that day, maybe she would have been alive today. Maybe she wanted to confide in me. She wanted to hear my own opinion but I didn’t pick up.

Since that day, I learnt to be doing three things:

1. Picking up calls whenever my phone rings and returning calls once I see a missed call.
2. Encouraging young girls to give birth and say NO to abortion.
3. Being open to people that cares about me and never to shut people out of my life.

If my elder brother and parents weren’t so mean to my sister and if I had picked up my calls that day, she would still be alive but now she is gone and all that is left of her is ‘memory’.

I am sharing my story with you today, for people to learn: “how to be open with their problems. Not to rely on a single person’s advice. Stop caring what other people will say and lastly, Abortion might seem like the best option but it is not a good option for unwanted pregnancy”.

Thanks for reading! I hope you learn from my story.

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