What Is Bread crumbing?
Breadcrumbing is simply “leading someone on” and “keeping someone’s hopes up” through little and superficial acts of attention, seduction, and flirtation, but ultimately disappointing the individual with false expectations, empty promises, and abandonment.
Bread crumbing in Relationships
Although the term “breadcrumbing” is most commonly associated with dating, it can also be applied to long-term relationships and even marriages, albeit the meaning is slightly different. The premise is the same — it’s all about doing whatever it takes to make someone pleased.
The breadcrumbs, however, are made up of modest tokens of care or attention that keep the partner feeling that the relationship is still worth pursuing. The breadcrumber may then go all out and become passionate and emotionally available for a brief time if they feel the need to reinforce the link in their partner’s mind.
This is especially true if the partner expresses dissatisfaction with the current situation. The breadcrumber raises their game just long enough to persuade their partner that their relationship will improve. When the partner appears satisfied, the breadcrumbs begin to fall again.
This is a common method used by narcissists who give their victims the proverbial bone of ‘love’ and affection every now and then in between bouts of abuse and manipulation. This perplexes the victim sufficiently that they return despite the terrible treatment they receive at their hands.
Other Signs of Breadcrumbing to watch out for
If you’re still confused about what bread crumbing is or suspect you’re being led on, here are some obvious indicators you’re being led on.
1. Unclear Messages
They’re usually evasive and avoid committing to anything. They discuss meeting up soon but don’t make any firm or specific plans to put that in place. Somehow, they effortlessly and constantly manage to say things in a way that inspires hope without actually committing to anything.
Does that ring a bell already? We should meet up sometime, when will you be in town? And somehow, even when you’re in town, he or she never goes ahead to make plans to see you till you leave. Yes, dear, that is a strong indication of bread crumbling.
2. Your communication is lacking in substance
You may have some in-depth discussions with them on occasion, but most times the messages are usually brief and basic. They don’t try to get to know you. And when you make the effort to, they reply in monotones and leave you stressed out and frustrated.
3. They alternate between hot and cold
They don’t message you regularly. You may be in contact with them frequently for a few days, and have fun on some nights. You may text late into the night and then the next day, you are left on read and then it might take a whole week or even more before they reply.
They also have this incredible ability to buzz in and message you just as you’ve begun to forget about them and move on, and in a matter of seconds, you are back to where you started.
4. It’s all about sex for them
This is another sign of bread crumbing, when all the partner desires are to get physical, you can be sure that you are being bread crumbed in that relationship.
Also Check Out: Top 8 Secrets Of Moving On After a Broken Relationship
How to Deal With Breadcrumbing
1. Accept it for what it is
Accepting reality and living with it is always an option. If the little crumbs, which could be sex and intimacy and those infrequent moments of attention are enough for you, then, by all means, stay.
2. Saying Goodbye
If however you want more and feel that you deserve more, then you leave the relationship especially if the person does not want to make amends.
This might be difficult to do but you, at this moment need to put yourself first and realize that your happiness will always be weighed by those acts of breadcrumbing if you stay. Breadcrumbing causes a lot of pain, frustration, distress, so if you continue allowing such thing in your life, you will always end up being the aforementioned. So, for your peace of mind and happiness, you should learn to say goodbye.
3. Confrontation
Speaking up is also one way to make the partner realize that you are aware of what they are doing. However, confrontations must be followed by sincere actions of reconciliation and doing better else the bread crumbing is bound to continue. Breadcrumbing may not happen intentionally. Some people do it without knowing they are actually doing it, that is why confrontation is really necessary. So that even if they aren’t aware, they would be
Final Thought
Breadcrumbing doesn’t just cause people pain, it also blocks potential and ready to commit partners from actually coming into their lives and it also stops them from going with people who actually knows what they want.
