Your heart was broken by someone you trusted so much right and you are here to know how to move on from them. Well! Sorry! You are going through this pain now. This post is going to help you through it all, so make sure you read everything.
Everyone prays for a lasting relationship, the ones that won’t involve tears or sorrow. Everyone prays for someone who will love them wholeheartedly.
However, not everyone gets what they want in this aspect. Almost everyone has experienced what we know as heart break. Thinking of how much time, efforts and resources you have invested in that relationship and seeing the relationship crumbling to the ground is pain.
Broken relationship can be caused by so many things which includes, cheating, lies, bad attitude, probably the relationship was founded on deceit in the first place and so many reasons.
Nevertheless, whenever we experience what we call heart break, we aren’t expected to shut our heart door by staying in the same position of regret, pain, agony that the broken relationship left us. Though at first, it will seem like you can’t survive the heartbreak because you will be so overwhelmed with the losses.
The secrets are:
1. Mourn in your own way
As stated in one of our post that losing our love ones in form of divorce or break up is also an example of what may bring grief.
It’s advised that whenever you are dealing with any kind of loss, you should express the pain in your own way. If you ever feel like crying, cry. You ever feel like screaming, then scream.
It’s so wrong to bottle up the thoughts in our heart because the more it stays, the more difficult it is to heal from it.
2. Don’t try pointing fingers
It’s wise we understand that a broken relationship isn’t caused by two wrong people but because two right people aren’t just meant for each other.
This perspective will save us some issues while fighting to heal up in this broken relationship. Don’t you ever try playing the blame game by blaming the other person he doesn’t invest so much or she isn’t committed to the relationship.
Pointing this kind of finger won’t heal you in any way, but will only expand the matter and make the whole issue complicated.
3. Change your daily routine
This is another important procedure you should follow when trying to move on after a broken relationship. By saying change your daily routine, what I means is that you should change all the activities you do together with your spouse before the break up occurred.
Avoid visiting the same area you guys have visited together and avoid all routines that will bring back their memories.
If you guys do play scrabbles together before, you can avoid that same game for some advantage; you might play the game in the future but that will be after you are fully healed and moved on completely from the person.
4. Cut all ties with them
Almost all relationship therapists will tell you to avoid your ex by cutting all ties with them to avoid falling into their trap again or probably waking up the sleeping lion.
When I say a sleeping lion, I mean the wound that has been healing can be widely opened back if you see that the same person that left you has already moved and it’s quite obvious. You can do this by, deleting or blocking their number, stop chatting them, blocking them on all social media platforms, avoid going to visit them or hang out with them, avoid seeing them totally until you are truly healed and moved on from them.
As much as you would want to scroll through their pictures to know what they are doing, please avoid doing that. Delete all pictures of them or you can do away with them, let’s say you remove all the pictures from your phone and put it in your laptop or hard drive where it is far away from you.
The strong urge of wanting to see them will come once in a while or maybe come often but you must try to be strong and avoid them. Doing all these will help reduce it or make the chances of you calling, or chatting them low. These are ways you can cut ties with them to help you heal and move on quickly.
5. Learn from the relationship
In every relationship that ends, there’s always a lesson to learn from it. You need to check out what your parts are in the relationship and what your flaws are. This will give you insight of what you need to monitor in your next relationship. There are ways you are wrong, instead of doing the blame game, try your best to find the faults and correct them, so that you will not only have a healthy relationship next time, but you will be a better person for yourself.
6. Ask for help
It’s wise to ask for help when needed and in this case, I really recommend you ask for help but be careful the kind of person you want to ask for help. The best advice will be to see a therapist.
7. Be Open
So the relationship you were thinking would never end, ended and you were badly hurt. You then decided to shut your heart and not let anyone in again. Well! You are doing the wrong thing. That this relationship ended doesn’t mean the next one won’t be good. We are all different. Make sure you don’t stick with the mentality that “All men are the same or all women are the same”.
Be open to love again, maybe not immediately but try your best to avoid those thoughts that would want to come in and make you turn to that kind of person. It is during your mourning period that you can either start be hopeful or start building a wall against another relationship, so you must watch out for that period.
8. Do what you love
Is it reading or writing or watching movies that you love doing? Now is the time to engage more on that. It will help distract you. Hanging out with friends is very advisable here too. Learn something new, it could be a hobby, skill etc. just make sure you are doing something you truly love. Something that makes you happy.
Conclusion
I want you to know that you are enough. You are good and nothing is wrong with you. That that person left you doesn’t mean you aren’t good. Break up is very painful but I can assure you, you will be fine. There is a reason why they left you and their season in your life is over. A better person will come and know this “THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE”. They might delay but they will come.
I wish you heal quickly and find a better person.
