Finding out you have feelings for a friend, whether they are romantic or simply sexual, may be very perplexing. The nature of friendship makes it difficult to predict how it will turn out. Either there is no sexual tension at all since you get to know each other so well that it nearly feels like a family relationship or the warmth of your friendship can produce something that resembles sexual chemistry.
It’s not as simple as Harlequin and Mills and Boons made it appear. According to a recent study, close to 70% of romances start as friendships, but the hows and whens of this have not yet been fully explained.
Recognize your feelings
Understanding your emotions is crucial before taking any action. It’s typical to be perplexed by fresh feelings for a friend, but being uncertain about the feelings you are having can make you anxious and ultimately harm your friendship. It is important to be sure of your feelings, and check what it entails first before taking any other step.
Determine if they have the same feelings for you
Sometimes it’s easy to tell when someone feels the same way about you: they go out of their way to help you, hang out often with you, etc. Sometimes attempting to figure out how someone feels about us is like trying to solve a puzzle.
These are three steps you can take to be sure. Ask them out on a date, keep an eye on how they behave around you or simply ask them outright if they have feelings for you.
Recognize the issues involved and decide whether speaking your mind is worth it
You must ascertain the issues at hand if you hope to pursue a love relationship with this person. Even in the best-case situation, you’ll lose this person as just your closest friend since they’ll wind up becoming your partner, which may be a lot more difficult than a platonic friendship.
In the worst situation, it may make your friendship uneasy and even change it permanently. Sometimes, even if they have the same feelings for you and you start dating, it is nearly impossible going back to being just friends if the relationship falls through.
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Make a Decision then
The next choice is whether or not to tell your friend how you feel after you’ve given yourself some time to reflect on your emotions and are certain that they are romantic. When you think about all the scenarios that could happen in this situation, it can be frightening. It may be beneficial to keep in mind that they are a friend, and so they genuinely care about you.
Be ready for any response and be willing to respect your friend’s choice
You must be ready for every response if you want to disclose your romantic feelings. Your friend might ignore your feelings, share them, or do something in between.
You should maintain composure and show as much understanding as you can. Remember to cut your friend some slacks for any surprise, perplexity, or dumb queries because, in most circumstances, you will have had far more time to think about your sentiments than they will have.
After the conversation, figure out how to move on
You must find a strategy to try to get rid of your amorous feelings if the talk doesn’t go as you had hoped. Provide some space for yourself so that you can take some time to heal your wounds. You are free to go on dates with other people. No one is guaranteeing it will be enjoyable, but it may be useful.
But if it works the way you hoped, congratulations. There are lots of grey areas but dating your friend is surely one of the best relationships. Things may seem awkward at first, stop fussing, relax and enjoy the ride.
Final Thought
Having a crush on your friend is not a bad thing, if you are rejected or if the love wasn’t reciprocated, don’t feel bad about it, at least you tried your best. Do not close your heart afterwards because you will always find love, but love has to find your heart open for it to happen.
