Top 8 Secrets Of Moving On After a Broken Relationship

28 April 2022

Your heart was broken by someone you trusted so much right and you are here to know how to move on from them. Well! Sorry! You are going through this pain now. This post is going to help you through it all, so make sure you read everything.

Everyone prays for a lasting relationship, the ones that won’t involve tears or sorrow. Everyone prays for someone who will love them wholeheartedly.

However, not everyone gets what they want in this aspect. Almost everyone has experienced what we know as heart break. Thinking of how much time, efforts and resources you have invested in that relationship and seeing the relationship crumbling to the ground is pain.

Broken relationship can be caused by so many things which includes, cheating, lies, bad attitude, probably the relationship was founded on deceit in the first place and so many reasons.

Nevertheless, whenever we experience what we call heart break, we aren’t expected to shut our heart door by staying in the same position of regret, pain, agony that the broken relationship left us. Though at first, it will seem like you can’t survive the heartbreak because you will be so overwhelmed with the losses.

The secrets are:

1. Mourn in your own way

As stated in one of our post that losing our love ones in form of divorce or break up is also an example of what may bring grief.

It’s advised that whenever you are dealing with any kind of loss, you should express the pain in your own way. If you ever feel like crying, cry. You ever feel like screaming, then scream.

It’s so wrong to bottle up the thoughts in our heart because the more it stays, the more difficult it is to heal from it.

2. Don’t try pointing fingers

It’s wise we understand that a broken relationship isn’t caused by two wrong people but because two right people aren’t just meant for each other.

This perspective will save us some issues while fighting to heal up in this broken relationship. Don’t you ever try playing the blame game by blaming the other person he doesn’t invest so much or she isn’t committed to the relationship.

Pointing this kind of finger won’t heal you in any way, but will only expand the matter and make the whole issue complicated.

3. Change your daily routine

This is another important procedure you should follow when trying to move on after a broken relationship. By saying change your daily routine, what I means is that you should change all the activities you do together with your spouse before the break up occurred.

Avoid visiting the same area you guys have visited together and avoid all routines that will bring back their memories.

If you guys do play scrabbles together before, you can avoid that same game for some advantage; you might play the game in the future but that will be after you are fully healed and moved on completely from the person.

4. Cut all ties with them

Almost all relationship therapists will tell you to avoid your ex by cutting all ties with them to avoid falling into their trap again or probably waking up the sleeping lion.

When I say a sleeping lion, I mean the wound that has been healing can be widely opened back if you see that the same person that left you has already moved and it’s quite obvious. You can do this by, deleting or blocking their number, stop chatting them, blocking them on all social media platforms, avoid going to visit them or hang out with them, avoid seeing them totally until you are truly healed and moved on from them.

As much as you would want to scroll through their pictures to know what they are doing, please avoid doing that. Delete all pictures of them or you can do away with them, let’s say you remove all the pictures from your phone and put it in your laptop or hard drive where it is far away from you.

The strong urge of wanting to see them will come once in a while or maybe come often but you must try to be strong and avoid them. Doing all these will help reduce it or make the chances of you calling, or chatting them low. These are ways you can cut ties with them to help you heal and move on quickly.

5. Learn from the relationship

In every relationship that ends, there’s always a lesson to learn from it. You need to check out what your parts are in the relationship and what your flaws are. This will give you insight of what you need to monitor in your next relationship. There are ways you are wrong, instead of doing the blame game, try your best to find the faults and correct them, so that you will not only have a healthy relationship next time, but you will be a better person for yourself.

6. Ask for help

It’s wise to ask for help when needed and in this case, I really recommend you ask for help but be careful the kind of person you want to ask for help. The best advice will be to see a therapist.

7. Be Open

So the relationship you were thinking would never end, ended and you were badly hurt. You then decided to shut your heart and not let anyone in again. Well! You are doing the wrong thing. That this relationship ended doesn’t mean the next one won’t be good. We are all different. Make sure you don’t stick with the mentality that “All men are the same or all women are the same”.

Be open to love again, maybe not immediately but try your best to avoid those thoughts that would want to come in and make you turn to that kind of person. It is during your mourning period that you can either start be hopeful or start building a wall against another relationship, so you must watch out for that period.

8. Do what you love

Is it reading or writing or watching movies that you love doing? Now is the time to engage more on that. It will help distract you. Hanging out with friends is very advisable here too. Learn something new, it could be a hobby, skill etc. just make sure you are doing something you truly love. Something that makes you happy.

Conclusion

I want you to know that you are enough. You are good and nothing is wrong with you. That that person left you doesn’t mean you aren’t good. Break up is very painful but I can assure you, you will be fine. There is a reason why they left you and their season in your life is over. A better person will come and know this “THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE FOR EVERYONE”. They might delay but they will come.

I wish you heal quickly and find a better person.

Physical activities that helps develop the mind

Johellaa

27 April 2022

Having a well-developed mind is a blessing because only with this, can we maximize every aspect of our life. Building a developed mind isn’t as stressful as we thought it could be. All we need to do is exercise our brain in some meaningful activities in which, we will mention some of them in this post.

Take care of your body, take care of your mind

If you want to take care of your mind, you need to start by taking care of your body. This is the first process to follow. Research has time and time again shown that people who engage in healthy behaviors such as exercise and proper nutrition are less susceptible to the cognitive declines associated with the aging process.

As someone who is so kin in developing their mind, you should do more of this following healthy behaviors like: not smoking, maintaining a healthy BMI, regularly exercising, consuming lots of vegetables and fruits, and consuming a low to moderate amount of alcohol.

So if you want to build a better mind, start by working on your physical health first. Go for a walk, start incorporating more fresh fruits and vegetables into your diet, and try to give up any bad habits like excessive alcohol consumption or tobacco use. Some of these might be more difficult than others, but your brain will thank you for years to come.

Learn new things every time

This brain exercise requires a bit of commitment. Learning something new is one way to keep your brain on its toes and continually introduce new challenges.

In one study, researchers assigned older adults to learn a variety of new skills ranging from digital photography to quilting. They then did memory tests and compared the experimental groups to control groups. Those in the control groups had engaged in activities that were fun but not mentally challenging such as watching movies and listening to the radio. The researchers found that only those participants who had learned a new skill experienced improvement on the memory tests.

They also discovered that these memory improvements were still present when tested again a year later. Some things you might want to try include are: learning a new language, learning to play a musical instrument or learning a new hobby. Not only will you be stretching your mind, but you will also be continually learning something new as you keep expanding your skills and becoming more accomplished.

Meditate

Meditation is a way of accessing our spiritual life while on earth. It settles us by calming our soul down to notice some minute things we aren’t able to see before. Mindfulness meditation, in particular, is all the rage at the moment, espoused by positive psychologists, business leaders, and alternative health practitioners

Socialize

Socializing tends to engage multiple areas of the brain and many social activities also include physical elements, such as playing a sport that is also beneficial to your mind.

Even if you are an inveterate introvert, seeking social interactions can be beneficial to your brain in both the short and long-term. Some ideas for staying socially engaged to include signing up for volunteer opportunities in your community, joining a club, signing up for a local walking group, and staying in close touch with your friends and family.

Play brain teasing games

Chances are probably pretty good that you’ve at least heard, or even tried, some of the many brain training games, websites, and apps that are out there. Many of these tools claim that these computerized brain exercises can increase your mental flexibility, keep you mentally sharper as you age and even make you more intelligent.

While there is still plenty of debate about whether or not these claims are true, there is a chance that playing these types of mental games might be good for your brain.

If, however, you already spend too much time staring at your computer screen or smartphone, your time is probably much better well spent going out for a stroll, enjoying a new hobby or even visiting a friend. All of these activities can have major long-term effects on the health and vitality of your brain.

Conclusion

A grown mind will only profit you but an under developed mind will shut doors of possibilities because we can only think at the size of our mind. Develop your mind.

7 Practical Ways To Get Over Trauma

Johellaa

26 April 2022

Trauma is the kind of experience had by someone who witnessed something so horrifying and terrible in the past that they couldn’t get over the feeling of what they saw. Trauma can also come from hearing too. We have heard so many cases of people who fainted right after hearing that their mum passed away.

Example of what can cause trauma incidence includes someone witnessing a killing, someone losing his or her parent, someone losing all he or she has to a fire accident, car accidents, a very painful break up, natural disaster and so many more.

We could notice that all examples given above have just one thing in common. The loss.

The stage of trauma is a stage someone shouldn’t be because those who stayed so long in that stage can later have what we know as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

This piece is written to give us the right procedure to follow when trying to get over a trauma.

1. Seek and Accept Support

First and foremost, getting past trauma is to want to heal and be willing to accept the help and support. It might turn out that much of your healing journey occurs alone, or it might involve a lot of community support or individual therapy. Whichever route it’s going to take naturally, you’ll have the best chance of recovering well if you are in the space of accepting support.

2. Find the Right Help

Next, you’ll want to find the right type of help for your situation. If therapy seems to be like the right step for you, you can look specifically for a trauma-informed therapist to ensure that the therapist is able to work with trauma and provide you with the best possible service.

Or, it might feel better to attend a support group so that you can be around others who have experienced a similar situation and find understanding and community.

3. Connect With Others

Whether or not you attend a support group around healing, it will help you connect with other people. You don’t need to center your trauma with the group, and you don’t even necessarily need to talk to other people about your trauma if it doesn’t feel right to you.

Connection with others is key to happiness as humans, and isolating yourself while dealing with trauma can lead to negative outcomes like depression. Spend time with friends when you feel up for it, and share what you’ve experienced when it feels right.

Also Check Out: 5 Best Ways To Heal From Grief

4. Exercise

Exercise has been shown to improve symptoms of PTSD. In addition to directly helping you heal, exercise and physical movement also provide your body with much-needed feel-good chemicals like endorphins.

If you don’t love working out, that’s OK! Take walks, do something fun like bike riding or roller skating, move along to a yoga video, or have a solo dance party. Anything that involves moving your body will help you heal.

5. Feeling Your Feelings

Journaling is a common way to manage stress and move through complex events. Give it a try if it feels like it might be beneficial for you. If it doesn’t, it will still be helpful to spend time sitting with your feelings. Do your best to get in touch with what you’re feeling, allow yourself to experience it entirely for a few moments, then notice how it passes.

Feeling your feelings, and accepting them, is key to healing from trauma. You may have some difficult feelings along the way, like anger, and that’s OK. It’s natural to have a wide variety of emotions, and there’s nothing wrong if some of them are new to you.

6. Self-Care

Self-care reduces stress. Equally important, it feels good. Practice self-care through your healing journey by regularly taking action to do things that feel good and loving for yourself.

Self-care acts can be simple and free and might be as mundane as taking a bath. What matters is that you set time aside to care for yourself, and you do things that make you feel loved.

7. Take Breaks

When moving through healing, you might find that you’re more tired than usual. Or, you might feel like you have physical energy, but your mind doesn’t work as well. Healing from trauma takes a lot of energy.

The best way to deal with reduced energy during this time, whether physical or mental, is to be gentle with yourself. Taking breaks, even from doing fun things, to pause and give yourself a moment will help keep your energy up and ensure you don’t exhaust yourself.

These are practical ways to get over trauma. I hope you find healing.

7 Important Self Development Techniques You Need To Know

Johellaa

25 April 2022

Self development is what every one of us should chase and pursue everyday. The world is moving so fast that we will have to be chasing it. However, it’s quite important to know that there are some techniques you need to keep yourself up to date. We call them self-development techniques and they are techniques that helps you develop every now and then. Considering our personal life, it’s also important to develop our professional life also.

Luckily for us, there are different ways we can develop our life thereby improving our team and business. The development techniques may range from bridging knowledge-gaps, health and wellbeing, enhancing existing skills and altering our work-life balance or even learning something completely new, adopting a growth mindset and all this imperative to developing your people.

The following are some important self development techniques you need to know:

1. Set goals

First and foremost, setting a goal is so important for self development. A long term goal to be achieved in years to come and a short term goal that will be achieved in a day or weeks.

It’s also good to set goals and clear objectives. Identify and make note of what you would like to achieve with your business thoughts, then use this as a benchmark and measure of success. Setting great goals will help; make sure your goal is specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-based.

2. Write it down

Writing something down especially a goal has a way of reminding us whenever we are digressing from our plans. Commit an action to paper (or a digital to-do list) in the moment. Performance management systems.

After writing down the plans. You try to tick out those you were to able to achieve at the appointed time and the reason for the achievement.

3. Do what works for you

We aren’t wired the same way and we can’t do the same thing. To live a well and fulfilling life, you have to live in your own world where you were convince of your way of life.

If you’ve done something in a certain way before and it helped you improve, then use that tactic again. It’s no good buying umpteen self-help books if you know that you respond better to learning through training courses.

4. Start small

Everything in this life should be taken with gradual process so we don’t need to skyrocket just in a day or some couple of weeks. It could seem daunting to “make yourself a better communicator”. But if you break that sizeable target down into smaller steps and start on just one of them, then the task seems less formidable. If you challenge yourself to achieve just a modest goal at first, you can grow from there once you’re ready. Reaching a small, more achievable personal development goal empowers and encourages us to continue. In no time at all, you will be merrily working away towards your ultimate end-goal.

Also Check Out: Top 5 Leadership skills That Can Make You Excel In 2022

5. Go at your own pace

This is similar to the previous point. As well as starting small, you shouldn’t pressurize yourself to achieve something in too short a timeframe. We often overcommit, so if you can’t reach your goal in the time you have allowed, be kind to yourself and relax the deadline. If your goal is marathon-like, you might not achieve it all in one go, but each step you take will be a step nearer the finishing line.

6. Have a winners’ mindset

It’s never wrong to embrace and address your failures, that way you will learn from them. If you go into new experiences and learning situations with the mindset that you will achieve, you are more likely to do so.

Carol Dweck, author of “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success”, says that successful people have a growth mindset and that they “believe that even basic talents and abilities can be developed over time through experience, mentorship, and so on. And these are the people who go for it. They’re not always worried about how smart they are, how they’ll look, what a mistake will mean. They challenge themselves and grow.”

7. Learn from failure

Try to take something from every personal encounter you have. Most people we come across day to day can teach us something that we can then apply in our own lives. At the simplest level, the friendly customer service you received when you picked up your morning coffee will probably have brightened your day. Can you then apply that attitude in your next encounter and make someone else similarly happy? Try also to be open to new opinions and new ways of doing things; you never know what you might learn

These are the important self-development techniques that has been helping and I’m sure it provided also for your help.

5 Best Tips On How To Forgive Someone Who Hurt You

Johellaa

23 April 2022

Forgiveness is peace. We offending ourselves is one of the proof that we are still human. Only a divine being can be so perfect that they won’t offend anyone at all.

We may have expressed some pain because of the way we are being treated by someone we hold so dear to, because I will like you to understand that you can’t be hurt by someone you don’t care about. Hurt only comes from someone we hold so dear and cherish so I will advise you always lookout for that offense because sooner or later, that person will offend you one day.

However this post is written to give us tips that helps us forgive someone who hurt us.

There are so many reasons you should forgive people who hurt you. There’s a popular quote that says, “Forgive people not because they deserve it but because you deserve the peace”.

Not forgiving someone who offends us poisons our personality

Most of us are better people until we are wronged by those we love and this turned us into something else because we are filled with hatred. This isn’t who we are

Sucks out the good energy in us

Keeping grudges has a way of sucking out the good vibes that can be used to do something else reasonable. We just find ourselves hating everything, not concentrating at work, feeling so uneasy and having this bad cloud all around our lives.

Make our day unfruitful

I don’t know about you but whenever I’m having any issue with anyone, I don’t lay my hands on any project until I have my peace back by forgiving that person. You may have tried it before but you will realize that there’s no gain in keeping grudges especially if the person you are having issues with don’t even know. They enjoy their day while you waste yours.

Those are some bad implications of not forgiving those who hurt us. Now to the main point of forgiving.

You can follow the below tips as they are proven ways that really helps get the load off your shoulders:

1. See through their value

It’s important to note that someone doing something bad today doesn’t really mean they are bad. We all have what we are facing and we react to things due to what is going on in our lives. You should understand that the offense made towards you doesn’t make the person an animal. They are still human.

They may practically be wrong but that doesn’t mean they are bad all through. It’s just the tide at that particular point in time.

2. Sacrifice your ego to be right

Sacrifice your ego to be right, simply implies that you let go of trying to be right even if you are. People doesn’t need to know that you are wronged.

For a relationship or friendship to be mutual, you really need to let go of the urge to be right every time. Sometimes, for the sake of peace, you should just accept them for who they are.

Also Check Out: 5 Best Ways To Heal From Grief

3. Subdue the thought of having to pay back in the same cup you are paid

You should never think of paying evil with evil. This is against all religion rule and it’s always not good for relationship.

You should never think of punishing someone who hurts you because even if you do, that doesn’t make you feel better.

4. Don’t use your anger to manipulate others

Some people will realize they have offended us immediately they do and they may be trying to make restitution but that doesn’t give you the chance to feed on their soberness. You should forgive them immediately.

5. Accept the world the way it is

Knowing that this world isn’t fair is the right consciousness to have. It keep you out of some troubles because once you know that this world isn’t fair, you expect less from people and don’t even care what they do.

Human will always be human but it’s your choice to be a better version of human.

Conclusion

You forgiving someone doesn’t mean you are condoning their nonsense. It’s just a way of showing that you are better than them so don’t think people will take you for granted when you forgive. It helps your reputation.

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